Friday, February 17

Drunk blogging

This will be a hoot. It's a challenge to just type the right keys. Well, my flirt with Thomas Jane, let's start with that. I thought that because he liked one of my tweets adressed to him that he liked me too, but that could of course been a mistake. I mean, he probably just liked it for marketing purposes, much like I like all people on Tinder. You know, causually pressing the like button on everybody in the moment, not considering who wrote what or when etc. You know what I'm talking about. Ok, but I must admit, I got my hopes up and sent him a Valentines reqeust. Nerdy and superficial, I know, but we have created these standardized events in society to facilitate the mating procedure. Yes, you read that right. Anyhow, since we are on the topic of soulmates etc ( if those even exist) there seem to be a trend to couple up with those born on the same date. These new glasses are not functioning properly and will be returned asap. My cousin ( third cousin or whatever) married a guy who was born on  the same date as she. So, Thomas Jane is born on February 22 (according to Wikipedia)  , same as Drew Barrymore ( this is the reason why I dumped you on Instagram, bitch!), and therefore they MUST be destined to be together, right? Think about it, she just got divorced and they're both in the same Hollywood business, so much in common, children the same age, there are no questionmark when you come to think about it. It looks like they're made for eachother, Jane said in an interview something about " looking good ten years ago and ten years from now", which is something Barrymore repeated recently on Instagram, along with a snapshot of her moldy ointments. Jane didn't respond to  my Valentines request, so I take that as  "no", "not interested".  Which is a shame , because we would make the perfect couple ( if he pays for my upcoming facelift that is). You know, artsy people, creative. I'm probably way smarter than him though, as usual,  Never met a guy smarter than me so far. Guys are generally low on brains. Anyway, Jane's daughter is born on the same day that my ex boyfriend and Hunter S Thompson died, so 'destiny-wise' that could be an advantage, but considering the no response for Valentines, Barrymore, and Tipper (according to reliable sources they have a great chemistry on the Expanse set ) I see it like this: He has to walk barefoot across the Atlantic ocean to prove his love for me (if it ever existed). He likes walking barefoot, so this might not be an impossible demand, allthough the vast ocean could be. I remember being embarrassed about dad walking barefoot in the summer. Feet are ugly people, keep'em in shoes, m'kay? 

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