Sunday, July 12

Hello Mr. Right.

When are you going to show up? I am so sick and tired of waiting and waiting. Since the guys I have dated so far have turned out to have problems with cats then they have been sorted out as "not suitable for long term relationships".
So where are you? The perfect person for me. I have a few "dreamlovers" that I speculate could be the one, but since they are all such cowards and never actually show up I must move on and look for braver male specimen.
I know: I'm terrible, awful, ugly, boring, old, anti-social, weird and poor. I totally get it, I'm not a great catch exactly, but hey, I don't demand anything remarkable from you either.
Nevermind I'm supersmart, get all A's and still don't know how to make money. It's a glitch in the construction. I told you this before. Maybe that's where you come in. Maybe I need a partner to become financially dependent upon, why else would I keep him? That doesn't sound right either.  Of course I'm going to get rich and make my own money, let there be no doubt about that.
I can hug my cat instead. He keeps me great company. Quite a chatterbox he has become. I suspect he's gone deaf and can't hear himself, considering the volume of his conversation.
Yes, we are all right, me and the cat. Don't really need anybody else, just every once in a while it would be nice to love a human. Not that I'm particularly fond of humans, don't misunderstand me here, they are a truly loathsome species that serves no purpose for the universe other than being a nuisance,
Ok, back to topic: I need a male bedcompanion. Let's narrow it down to this. Someone willing to show up on a regular basis and not carrying any lethal disease. No, that's not enough either. I want the whole package. Cuddling, kisses, doing random stuff together, falling in love. Anyone out there interested in the same trip? Who's not totally appalled and freaked out by me that is. And of course, you must be superhot, sexy, sweet and ..I don't know, have a personality?
You know, with the datingsites, all it takes is one look and you know if you want the person or not, and it's no use looking if they live even one town away. I have become that practical.
Don't think I have all the time in the world for you either. I'm working, studying and have my own life. I mean, I like to "play girlfriend" every once in a while, but it's not like I'm going to surrender my whole life and personality for that character. Dispite my superior intellect I am very childish.
It's like, I try to communicate who I am in order to teach people how to interact with me. Some people get it, some don't. Most people have no clue, but the most annoying part is when you know a person totally gets you but is too shy to actually interact in a more "hands on" manner.  I do that too, I admit, I'm equally shy. Why do you think I'm writing a blog addressing the whole world instead of calling you up and having this conversation in private? Maybe I don't have your number, maybe I do, but am waiting for you to make the first move.  Ok, not first, we' re way past that, but next!
Exactly...*snaps with fingers*: NEXT!!!


No comments:

Post a Comment