Saturday, September 13

Dating part 283756y58689400935853+7376

Well, this online dating is really boring the hell out of me. There's just nobody interesting enough to invest time in. You gotta feel that spark right away, otherwise there's nothing. That "start with being freinds" stuff never work out in the end, because in the end you realize why you were just friends to begin with. Sure, love grows with time, or fades away, depening on the original spark.  If it's not there, it fades. Goodbye.
Well, alternative profiles. Since I have lost my face ( thank you stupid dentist, hope you get cancer ) I have only my wonderful personality to depend upon, and of course my sexy body.
So I was thinking if I should write something radical on my dating profile that would attract the type of people I'm interested in, but then I started thinking ( again) that I don't really know what I'm interested in. I know what I don't want, all the dealbreakers in a relationship etc, but to write only that seems so negative and bitter.
I'm a very complex person who need someone to match  me on so many different levels.  The people I have dated so far have been real mistakes all of them. Is it too much to ask to find someone who doesn't hate you, disrespect you, look down on you and spit on you? Do people really assume that I have absolutely no selfrespect whatsoever?

Here are the "dealbreakers" :

1. You want a regular girlfriend.
2. You want an ordinary life.
3. You like hockey.
4. You are religious.
5. You don't like animals.
6. You think you can control me.
7. You don't like sex. ( that should really be higher up on the list)
8. You disregard creative occupations.
9. You have low IQ. ( I told that to a guy once and he didn't know what IQ was...really)
10.  You live on the other side of the planet with no means to get over here.
11. I find you ugly.( does not mean you are ugly to others, but to me.)
12. You have no respect for my ambitions.
13. You want me for my money.
14. You really want to date my sister or other family member.
15.  You are superficial.
16. You think too much about your reputation.
17. You believe in gossip. ( that's pretty much same as low IQ)
18. You're fat. ( sorry, it does not turn me on)
19. You fuck around.
20. You are not a feminist.
21. You don't believe in aliens and ghosts.
22. You have a neanderthal perception of gender and gender- roles.
23. You think women are lesser than men.
24. You are anti-fun.
25. You are straight edge.
26- You don't like to party.
27. You like country music.
28. You have no musical ear.
29. You like big boobs.
30. You can't see the difference between art and crap.
31. You have no sense of humour.
32. You have no self distance.
33. You do not know how to roll a good joint.
34. You are afraid most of the time of everything.
35. You are afraid of me.
36. You don't love me.
37. You think I'm ugly.
38. You don't like my sense of humour.
39. You disagree with everything I say.
40. You agree with everyhting I say.
41. You think I don't know when you're lying.
42. You complain a lot.
43. You think you can convince me to adapt to your irrational expectations.
44. You think I'm lying.

Ok, there are surely more thing I could come up with, but those will do for now. I suggest you memorize this and use it as your internal checklist.

Me, who am I? I'm the BITCH!

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