Tuesday, September 18

Feeding my obsession

Well, it's not an obsession per se, perhaps from his side. I see it more as an ongoing conversation. A conversation that is not leading anywhere though, but nontheless. I am talking about Zlatan of course and his 500 goals. In an  Instagram post he had posted " #postnumber500" ( iamzlatanibrahimovic 2018-09-16), under a tiled tasteless picture. Not #goal500 but #postnumber500. I reacted upon this and wondered if he was referring to post number 500 on this blog. I mean, since we are flirting,  I mean engaging in a conversation, this must naturally be the case. On this blog there are 1839 post of which 1137 are reverted to drafts (for special reasons) and 702 are actually published. At first I looked up post number 500 from the total 1839, but that was an obscure YouTube- video with a broken link. It basically didn't exist anymore.  Since this was one of the reverted posts I also concluded this was not the referred to post. Then I looked up post number 500 of the 702 published posts. And voilá! There it was. Encore un fois, with Tarzan, the old comic magazine. That's why I replied "Zlatan is Tarzan" to one of his Twitterposts on the 500 goal achievement. The ffunny thing is that there are surely people out there equally obsessed by me, answering to me, writing blogposts to and about me, without me having a single clue of who they are or of the content of their 'conversation' with me. But as indulged in my obsession as I am, I am blinded to it and am certain Zlatan actually is talking to me. Afterall, he's just a football player.  And remember when he acted as a psychic in that tv- show? He is so revealed.

It is a good read though and deserves to be posted encore un fois

Since it's the fourth time this Tarzan post is posted then: May the fourth be with you!

Imagine Helena when she finds his secret room with the walls plastered with pictures of me.

Sunday, September 16

Rest in peace old friend.

Just found out that Johnny, an old friend, had died yesterday.. We weren't close but it the same gang ( not the same gang as I mentioned in the post before but H was also his friend) when we were young. We went to the Roskilde festival together in 1994 and 1995 and used to sit at a bar called Pimpinella up in Luleå with the same gang in the afternoons. Unfortunately all my photos from Roskilde are gone since they were at Andreas house when he died in 2005 and his relatives took them and refused to give them back. Andreas was also in the same gang and friends with Johnny. He was a cool guy though, smart, well dressed and kind. My clock had stopped at the same time he died. Strange how that can happen. I bought new batteries and then heard of his passing and the time.




Same day as Johnny Ramone died too, in 2004.

Last time I met Johnny was in the autumn of 2004, pretty much exactly 14 years ago, when he came to visit Andreas. His girlfriend had lost a tooth ( which she got fixed later). We listened to music and talked about stuff in the news. We actually listened to my music I remember, until Andreas 'accidentally' switched if off. H and another friend N, were also there. Don't remember the name of the girlfriend though. We were six people in the room of which two now are dead.


Roleplaying gamerules.


I don't know why this popped up in my mind.

When I went to junior high I was in the same French class as Y, who was in the same gang as H. H was one year younger and still in grade school at the time. I often bumped into Y and his friends M , F, R and A hanging out in the hallway. One time the French class decided to have a disco in order to collect money for a class trip.  H came there. There were hardly any people at our disco so he was mocking us for that, stealing our home made chocolate balls, complaining about the music and he was short, fat and Finnish. There was nothing about him I liked and I saw him only as an annoyance. When we were even younger we occasionally crossed paths at the same playground. There was in particular this wooden fortress in the forest where we used to play. Me with my girls and H with his boys. One time the boys invited us to play with them. They had this roleplaying game with rules that we were supposed to obey. Roleplaying was something I considered childish and belonged in kindergarden, which I told them. I asked why we should pretend to be this and that, why we must follow the rules they had made up? If we were going to play together we should come up with rules together as well and I had much better ideas. This was not a popular so basically the boys wanted us, or just me, to leave so they could play their own roleplaying game. Later in life, when I was in a relationship with H and World of Warcraft came out, we all, the same gang ( not my girl gang though) started to play togehter . The same thing happened again. They had their rules about how the game should be played. I had a created a rebellious character and didn't want to obey their rules and again there was a conflict and they didn't want me to play with them. This is when we were adults, in our 30's. Can you imagine roleplaying gamerules hanging on so hard since childhood in the same gang that they couldn't see beyond them even as adults?

One can view this from a bigger perspective. To start with they were just mean stupid boys who never really grew up. Second, the game was never about having fun and playing, it was about learning to obey the rules. Those who didn't want to obey the rules were excluded, just as in society. It was like a miniature patriarchal society, a training ground for obedience, compliance and oppression. 


Saturday, September 15

Predator *spoiler alert*


Yep, I went to see it on the premiere day, alone. Not entirely alone, there were other people in the salon and considering it's a very small town, I probably knew a handful of them as well.
I tried asking on Facebook if anyone wanted to join me, but got no positive answers, except from a guy in Belgium, which is a bit far. One guy from the gym popped up mysteriously afterwards though. Turned out he had been there alone too. Funny coincidence or stalker warning? Just kidding, nice guy, don't think he has stalker potential , but you never know, they seem normal in the beginning, until the insanity breaks out.

I always wanted to see a Predator film in the movies, so I took my chance now, when Jane was starring as well, what could go wrong? He got killed of course , pierced through the heart with a wooden pole as if he was a vampire. High up in a tree. Remember Reek from GoT? He's in it too. Don't remember how he got killed, but pretty sure he did.  The actual Predators were supercool. I remember when I was a kid and they showed the first Predator on tv. I was so fascinated by the special effects, how it could camouflage itself among the leaves.  The film is maxed with shooting, killing, ripping bodies apart, blood, stupid/funny one-liners; all the good things you want from a film. There's no need to come with any constructive criticism, I just enjoyed it. I'm just wondering why the 3D isn't really 3D, more 3d. In the commercials for 3D the 3D looks amazing , but not in the actual film. Maybe they haven't really developed the technique enough, or you are so accustomed to it that it goes by unnoticed.

Ps. I hope I'm on Nasa's 'shortlist' for communicators when the aliens arrive.




Thursday, September 13

The ultimate solution

I was looking in the fridge wondering what I could cook from the current ingredients. I discovered I had a can of tomatoes and another can of baked white beans. Chili-con-carne? But I had no minced meat, which is an essential ingredient. Then I remembered the huge pack of minced meat that my mother brought home from the grocery store when I visited last. It made me feel very uncomfortable, because a cow, a completely innocent cow, had died for that pack of meat. That is not fair. I'm utterly against killing animals for food, fur or any other commercial interests. We don't need meat to survive, we can very well find equivalent nutricion in other products. Well, then this extremely crazy idea occured to me. We can eat people instead. The planet is overpopulated by humans so it would benefit the environment and the recuperation of nature from human destruction. This is of course highly unethical and that's why I refer to the idea as crazy, but think about the logic of it. Maybe cannibalism is the ultimate solution. The 'tricky part' would of course be to create a moral prerogative to justify this new Soilent Green Industry.  Which humans should we eat? The ones who are problematic to society of course, as criminals for example. We can have a butchery next door to the prison.  In order to supply meat to the entire society we would of course also need to place many more people in prison, which in turn means new definitions of what constitutes breaking the law, new definitons of crimes to be punished by 'meat production'.  😂

Oh well that was funny, however it is not funny for the animals living in such a reality already.


Sunday, September 9

The epitome of dystopia


Almost as scary as the Swedish election. Feels a bit early 2000, doesn't it? 90's even. Backwards in any case. Never liked them.

Saturday, September 8

I voted yesterday.

We have an election here in Sweden now and you can vote already at the library in Gävle ( where I live) and that is exactly what I did today. So, let me tell you about how it went. There are three instances to vote for: the government, the county administration board and the municipality. I had already decided to vote for at least two different parties, not wanting to put all my eggs in one basket. I could have voted for three different parties, but decided it was enough with two. One has to think strategically as well as with the heart. My heart is with the animals and the environment. The parties who care the most for these issues are relatively small and risk not getting a place in the government. ThereforeI considered voting for a bigger party who also was ranked high by the Swedish Environmental Protection Agency (SEPA) regarding environmental issues and animal rights. At the library here was a long line and it took at least 10 minutes before I got to pick the ballots. Since it was so crowded the privacy was compromised and even if one had the option of picking as many ballots as one could wish for, most people just picked the ones they were going to vote for. The line was in the music and film section, so there were lots to look at on the shelves; film-posters, books, photos and people. There was a framed picture of a man with a guitar ( Bob Dylan), a book about opera and cakes, a shelf for spiritual music and some actionmovie stuff. I was listening to music in my headphones and didn't really care much about the crowd. The ballot stand came closer and the guy in front of me picked the same party as I was going to vote for.  Good boy, I though. I picked my ballots in three different colors for each instance: pink, green and white, and looked for a place to discretly place them in the envelopes. There was no discrete place available though, so I just did it where I was standing. After I had licked on the glue and sealed the envelopes I started wondering if I had picked the right ballots. Did I mix up the county and municipality ballots? Was it wrong to vote for the small party for the government? Was that vote 'wasted' if they don't get a place? There was no time for second thoughts. I think the little time you have at the ballot stand due to the long line behind you stresses people out and can cause hasty faulty decisions.
 Next step was handing in the votes and putting them in the box. While I approached the submission and registration tables they were exchanging the personell who was sitting there, so I had to wait. A woman placed a pile of papers over the box to cover up the opening. I asked if I could register my vote with her, but then a man sat down next to her and said that he could take care of it. He looked at my voting card and id and then took my envelopes containing the ballots:
- I can take care of these.
I felt this was a bit strange, because I wanted to place the envelopes in the box myself to make sure it was done right. I couldn't stay there and check what he did with my envelopes because there were so many people. If they even entered the box, got tossed in the trash or were taken away somewhere to someone else is a mystery.  People should get a receipt for their votes, where it says when they registered, who did the registration, where and on what parties they voted. 

Of course there is a lack of trust towards authorities and people who claim to do their biddings, because with power comes corruption. There could be a ballot- scandal in Sweden as well. My vote was just one vote though and if they messed it up it won't make any difference, or? Did they mess up more votes? Is it a strategy to create crowds in the voting areas where things are likely to get mixed and messed up?

I have been asked many times in my work as counsellor about how the election will go. People seem really worried and afraid. They don't know what it going to happen, so many new forces in society that are claiming space and rights. It's like they have stirred up this chaos to create a smokescreen for what is really going on. To make people close their eyes toward the really important issues, as pure survival of our species, other species and the entire ecosystem. They think it's better if people 'stay calm' and focus on issues as gas-prices, immigration, abortion and other human societal problematics. We will not have a human society to worry about unless we stop focusing on those smokescreens and see what is really important. People think, just as I did with my vote, that one vote has no impact on the election results, that one town, county or country has no impact on the environment, that it is everybody elses fault, the other voters/countries etc that are doing everything wrong. This is not something new either. Very common behavior. The environmental issues become too abstract to grasp, too big to fathom, so it's easier to focus on something that is easy to understand and close to home. Unfortunately climate change is affecting our everyday lives now.

This was a much longer post than intented.  I will stop here. Be good,  use your vote for the animals, they have the same rights to live healthy and happy as you do.

On another note, checking the statistics, this is 'now';


Sidvyer per land

Diagram över de mest populära länderna bland bloggläsarna
PostSidvyer
okänd region
6
Sverige
3
USA
2
Förenade Arabemiraten
1
Irak
1
Ukraina
1


Sorry that's in Swedish, but "okänd region" means unknown region, a region that is growing in the statistics. People who don't want to have their hideouts revealed apparently. Maybe the views are from space, the International Space Station ( ISS) ?

All time statistics still have real countries in the top section.

Sidvyer per land

Diagram över de mest populära länderna bland bloggläsarna
PostSidvyer
USA
182867
Sverige
23957
Ryssland
9421
Tyskland
8383
Belgien
5346
Nederländerna
5300
Ukraina
3647
Israel
3177
Frankrike
2095
Kanada
600



Friday, August 31

Summer is officially over

 I was reading this article about teenage crushes finding each other again after 40 years and thought: how gullible can you be? If he hasn't tried to contact her in 40 years she is his last choice, the one he left because he thought he could get better and kept on searching for 40 years. That's  how little she meant to him, or the other way around.  She believes the lies because they are comforting: " I could never get you out of my mind. I always thought of you as the one who got away. In my heart it was always you and me.". Standard protocol for when you want to get back together with someone. Apparently it works for some. I'm not saying this out of bitterness, it was more an epiphany. In case someone tries; I'm not susceptible.  I don't know what type of lies I could believe, perhaps:
- I never got your name.
Or:
- My spaceship was stranded in another galaxy.
Or:
- Someone threatened to wipe out the entire planet if I contacted you.
Or:
- I hit my head and suffered from total amnesia until yesterday when I miraculously remembered you.
Or:
- I've been waiting in the shadows, enjoying your suffering and thirst for love until you were exhausted and weak enough to approach.
Or:
- I have planned out this life meticulously and you don't really enter the picture until this point.
Or:
- I have been working hard to be able to sponsor your luxurious lifestyle.
Or:
- I was weak and kept on fainting at the mere thought of you.

After a while they start to sound realistic. Summer will come back. Seasons are good that way, reliable. They used to be.

Good night and cherish the last day of August. Winter is coming.