Tuesday, August 14


One of my absolute favourites in Star Trek. Also Trumps personal advisor. The code talker that he is desperately trying to interpret right, but apparently always failing.

Sunday, August 12

Back in the big city

Or middle size Swedish city to be more correct. The apartment feels like a luxury hotel with this modern accomodation;   perfectly running water, clean surfaces wherever I look, a big comfy bed and smooth internet. Could not feel more pampered. Except for the pile of bills on the doormat, but otherwise...wow. Got the car moved over here as well. Big thank you. Some people are worth their weight in gold. Metaphorically speaking. So, what was happening here. The city festival was going on. Takida played last night, but didn't notice that until after my long and well deserved bath, when I was already tucked in bed. A shame really, I could have gotten dressed and walked the 100 meters to the show, but the bed begged me not to go. I didn't notice until now how much I have exhausted my body either. Really needed the rest. Out there on the countryside there is not a second of rest, only mental rest, but there is always something to do, things to clean, organize or fix. There is here too, but in a different way. Not much heavy lifting, except for at the gym. Speaking of, the gym had sent me a huge bill, with unpleasant demands and even more unpleasant interest because I didn't pay my fees in time last month. If they had sent me an email explaining there was a problem with the payment, this could have been fixed. Instead they sent paper bills, that nobody was opening for five weeks. This is no way to treat a loyal member that has payed 45 000 SEK in total since I joined in 2012. Outrageous really, and they will hear about it.

Yep, the bitch is back. 😀

Tuesday, August 7

Sugar daddies

A lot of talk about that right now. Funny coincidence, trend or insinuation? I have gotten several invites, or suggestions lately to pay services with sexual favours. Which I decline of course. I'm not that type of girl. In case there is any misunderstanding or rumour going around. Or is it a trend trying to establish this 'practice' as a normalised behaviour?  If a woman seeks help from a male professional ( entreprenur, contractor etc) or friend, sexual invites have become standard. Are single women expected/ suspected to be open to this type of 'business'? I am not. Do they think I'm asking them for help with something , but 'in reality I'm asking for something else', as sex? I don't. I don't see sex as currency. What misogynist forces are behind this? The news say Swedish people are not getting laid enough. Perhaps this has also affected the sugar daddy trend. It's just another name for prostitution. One guy said:
- Ok, well, I will come over and fix this and then we will fuck I suppose.
Another said:
- I assume you will give me oral services then.
Another was more subtle, moved closer and said:
- That would be very cosy and nice.

I mean, what is going on? What gave them the idea? Always with a wink of course, to protect themselves behind a bad joke if it should explode in their faces. I feel sorry for them. It's basically like begging for sex and using their work, position or favours as persuasive tools. What type of sex are they looking for with that behaviour? Because I can't imagine a bigger turn-off than rape. Which forced sex, obligated sex or any other non- consensual sexual act is. Perhaps this is what turns them on the most? To have the power to make someone do something against their will, to control, humiliate and abuse.

I'm not against gifts and favours in general, or flirtation. Without people helping eachother out civilization would fail completely. The way I am raised however, sex is not currency, sex it's not a trade supply and it's not something you should feel obligated to provide in order to get by in society.  If you want to fuck me, then marry me first.  Just kidding, I don't believe in marriage either. It's an ancient outdated social and religious institution that has no value in a modern society. You can't own me.

I see this as part of a very dark global trend that goes hand in hand with environmental degradation, animal extinction and removal of human rights. We are turning back the clock to mideval times. Unfortunately nature isn't coming with us, we ruined that already. Additionally, these men were all Swedish. Not new immigrants who don't know our culture yet, not extreme islamists or whatever. Just regular Swedish guys.  I'm saying this because people in Sweden have established an opinion that assume all types of sexual harrassments are coming from immigrants. Maybe Swedish men have learned this behaviour from immigrants or the immigrants are just adapting to the culture that already existed?

Sunday, August 5

Thank you

Thank you YouTube for adding the embedding function back again. Wow, this video was beautiful and really how my existence is right now. A lot of insects out here. Yesterday I finally managed to clean the last room in the house and the amount of bugs was incredible. But I suppose once you make it clear to them that now a human is inhabiting the premisses they will scram. My uncle said that he felt like one with nature, that he didn't know the difference between outdoors and indoors anymore:
- Nature has moved in.
It surely had. The smallest room, where my dad used to sleep, only had three dead mice and the bedroom that I cleaned now actually had no mice, but a lot of bugs instead. I found an antique pistol that the neighbour's friend who works for an auction house was going to get evaluated. Probably get it back on Monday. Would be nice to hear if they know what type of gun it is and have been used for. It must be really old. Then again, what are guns usually used for...There is a picture of it on my Twitter.

I did not allow you to use my scream, Jack. Royalty please.

Tuesday, July 31

Black Tot Day

This is an important day in history.

Eight years ago I wrote a note in the diary here about the trailer disaster. My grandmother had also written a page, about my birthday and that another relative had fallen on a speck of ice on the 26th, the same day my dad died a year later, and my uncle seven years later. The diary also tells about the bingo winnings. We won even more that year too. It was a strange coincidence that I openend the diary on this day. I was sorting the stuff I had in the trailer and found it and a lot of other stuff, like toys, comic-magazines, scented candles, watercolors, pens and drawing-paper. Of course I had to make a drawing too. I will post the pictures of the drawing and the diary notes on Instagram, because they take too long to upload to the blog. Internet is not fast out here in Farmville.  I'm guessing the drawing is a gift from my uncle, like a spiritual portrait perhaps. He liked watching things grow, planting and tending to his garden. He had a different nose than the rest of the family though, we don't really know who he got it from. Maybe from someone on my grandfather's side.

Saturday, July 28

No more fires please.

When my son tells me to go online and chat with people, then I know I have been very quiet for a while. I thought internet would survive without me, but apparently not. I have been talking to people irl though, real actual people, and I have been listening to nature. The other evening a buzzard flew quitely right over my head. The place is improving, but the well has run dry due to the drought and perhaps I used too much water when I was cleaning, but it was necessary. Hopefully the well will fill up soon again. I have been sorting garbage: metal, plastic, electrical applicances, textiles, wood and paper. Next week I will have the water damage in the kitchen inspected and hopefully the insurance will pay off so it can be fixed. Other than that I have just been writing on my essay, applying for well paid jobs, hanging out with the neighbours and enduring the heat. I hope the fires will come to an end before the entire country is in flames. The place is really lit enough as it is. Red summer indeed, as my uncle had written on a note. Thank you to all the firefighters for the great job you are doing right now and to all the firefighters that have come from other countries to help out. Please think of the wild animals suffering from the heat and the fires and stop the hunting and killing. Give them water, food and peace. 

Thursday, July 19

Country life part 2

Gotten things cleaned up in the family cottage and am now borrowing the washing machine from the neighbour. There is a washing machine in the house, but it's disconnected because of the damaged water pipers.  There's only running water in the bathroom and not the kitchen. So, new pipes are necessary there, for future use. Waiting for the company that the insurance company had a deal with so they can come and inspect the water damage and hopefully the new water pump is covered by the insurance as well. Running water is a life necessity. In my humble opinion anyway. Can't shower in Coca-Cola. Wonder what would happen to the crops if they watered with Coca-Cola? Or gave it to the animals? Would the crops, milk and meat be all sweet or mutated? 

The weather is still super hot.