Sunday, April 21

Happy Easter!

The suffering of the Jesus memory and the ideas that were placed upon him. If one can call Jesus him. The Jesus concept is perhaps more fitting. Religion truly is a can of worms. What did the suffering symbolize now again? The forgiveness of our collective sins? Forgiveness as we know now, is submission that comes with a price. It's the IOU note. Hanging on the cross must have hurt, and people have not lived up to the IOU note, but rendered its promise to something to ask additional forgiveness for, faking submission. If you want Jesus to forgive you, you must pay for your sins, is that not so? Not living up to the first IOU note from more than 2000 years ago, then asking for another for not living up to it? Is that deserving forgiveness? Is the Jesus concept a push-over, someone to bully and neglect? Apparently. Why do we need that?  As a male metaphor for the mother figure, mansplaining love and kindness, wisdom and understanding. Flagellation is used as the means to mansplain what happens when mothers don't raise their boys right, according to the patriarchal power structures in society. Women are being punished through their children, and told to punish them first, before someone else does, when they are neglecting the chain of command due to lack of prior flagellation. You see now how religion and the patriarchal power structures in society always aim to inflict pain and suffering in all stages and sections of life. Happiness is seen as a sin. How much worse can it get? And then they reveal themselves so blatantly when Notre Dame has burned, donating huge amount of money to restore the symbol of oppression. It's a beautiful building, but there are other causes, environmental and humanitarian, for those with financial means to fund. So who are these supporters of oppression donating money to the restoration of Notre Dame. I was there when I was 11 , keeping an eye out for the hunchback. Evil is spreading in the world, watch out for those more concerned with upholding power structures instead of protecting nature and wildlife, the basis for our survival. Humanity has become infested with greed and the rich are sitting locked up in their safe houses waiting for the poor to kill each other off, so they can emerge once again, as the ancient Gods repopulating the Earth with their sinister spawn. As a poetic pun, not placing any evil on rich kids per se. They are victims of their environment as well. And of course as a reflection of how the oppressed tend to view them, as representatives of their oppressors.

That and eating candy.

Saturday, April 6

Country life

The longer I'm out here, the further away life in the city seems. I've been planting carrots, radishes, cucumbers and flowers of various sorts. Taking care of the little piece of land I've got. There are wild boars running around at night and turning up the soil at the roots of trees looking for worms. It looks like a bombshell where they have been. I don't mind though, all wild animals are welcome here. I saw a pregnant fox the first day I was here. I hope she got away from the mad men with guns. What kind of psychopath wants to kill a pregnant fox?

Anyway, been cleaning out the attic too.Except wasps, dust and mineral wool there are some odd stuff up there, like an old accordion and some strange Tesla- like beauty device. I'm not going to try it, don't want to risk getting sent to another dimension or be duplicated. Well, duplicated might work, I don't know, how would I benefit from clones if there is no shared ego or consciousness. What if the clone become more successful than me? What if the love of my life chose the clone instead of me?

Speaking of, when I interview people who wants to work for the tarot line, I ask them about love. The most recent have told me that he will be in my life in 6 months, and that I know him since before. He's approximately one head shorter than me, five years older, dark hair and is a rocker who like, Black Sabbath. Well, that kind of narrows it down.

My first thought was of course: That is not how Zlatan looks. Perhaps on his knees and let's face it, even those who are 20 years younger than me could be mistaken for being older. ;)

Tuesday, April 2

Free topics

The need for alone time in the digital world.
The morality of fishing.

When you wish it was an Aprils fools joke. Dead whales and dolphins in thousands. Mass extinction. It is here. No fish ever eaten was that tasty to justify this.

Spending evenings listening to radio. The music channel. Olden goldies are all I could find. I have so many stories to tell, to fantasize forth. Yes, I am looking at the essay too, have written some too.

Cleaning the yard from plastic and misplaced items. Dismantling a marquis. Contemplating personal relationships. Listening to odd sounds. Sponge baths.

Sunday, March 24

Some week

Not a calm moment. Which is good in many aspects. Things are happening. Energies are accumulating. I need inspiration to write the essay, to do the real work. The struggle is not just time but also boredom. When you need to do something big and are searching for ways out until you stand in the face of the inevitable. To open the document once again. And do something. Time is running out and there is no backing down.

My motivational speech. Give me a carrot.

Thursday, March 21

My embarrassing pseudo twin

Doing what we in Sweden call dansband. Like old people's couple dance music, dance band, is it dance hall? Not sure if there's an international term for this abomination. But ok, with old age comes the right to be embarrassing, just as me with the tarot line, but that is still magic. Those teeth look scary white though. Enemmän kahvia. Ville!

My mother still denies giving birth to him, although both my grandmother and aunt has confirmed she gave birth to a baby boy in Finland. That poor rascal allegedly didn't survive, just as my little sister didn't survive. I survived.  If I die prematurely, you know who to suspect.

Isn't it romantic?

Allow me to puke, please. Yes, there's no ' Josh' ( it's a Netflix film in case you didn't know) in my life, no natural selection. I do know a Josh. but I don't think he's the one, but you never know, maybe he's evolved into adapting sex appeal? He's more like the guy who would rat me out for a pack of cigarettes. I give love advice all day long to other people. Perhaps this is my karma. Never finding love myself, only guiding others towards love. Sometimes I too get my hopes up and think that someone at least likes me, but they always dump me after a quick google, a look at my age or a concerned citizen warning them about my terrible past according to them.

Have you ever wondered why you entered this life? Was it a drunken bet? Like, I bet I can change the world by giving them the success story of my life ( I say success just to give my living self hope). A girl who was born into this world with nothing, abused all her life, wherever she went, but still survives and rises up from the ashes and does something great. I don't know that this great thing will be, or already has been done, only that its impact on the world will be enough to ...evolve? Isn't that what we're waiting for, the evolution of human kind? We all know that if we remain like this, acting like egotistical mindless and heartless creatures we are doomed. It's the end of the planet.

It's not the end of the world however. The world is more than the planet, but still. Don't you think it's worth saving, for the sake of the animals at least.

Sunday, March 17

Climate change deniers

People in Sweden, mostly middle aged men, are accusing Greta Thunberg to be a puppet of some elaborate conspiracy with the agenda to reinstall communism, or whatever. They claim that there are scientific proof that invalidates the human impact on climate changes, as in climate change is caused by the solar activities and not environmental degradation. Further they try to make Greta a victim of these conspiracy forces by expressing concerns regarding her education, that surely must be suffering from all the activism, and also complain about her childish looks,  normal 16 year old girl wear make up and don't have their hair in braids etc. They even state she is being used because of her autism, that she has the ability to memorize longer complicated phrases, because she can't possibly be able to think for herself. They want to silence her, silence the climate and environmental debate, silence women. Discourage young women from speaking up, because look what will happen to you. Middle aged men will criticize your choice of clothes and render you dumb if you don't wear a push-up bra and have collagen lips.  Classical patriarchal oppression techniques.  Regarding the science behind climate change, does it matter? Are the environmental degradation and animal extinction not enough causes to engage in environmental activism and start taking the environmental threats seriously? How can you deny the devastating human impact on nature without being totally blind, dumb and dumber? Why attack a person who wants to protect the environment? What is wrong with you? Are you that afraid of women?