Sunday, November 17

Oh lord..

Apparently I'm a "death artist" now. 
I know a former Finnish band who must be so jealous about this.

It's my mother's birthday today, so I congratulate and thank her here for the effort of bringing me to life.  Not sure if I'm going to call, as I have blocked her on my phone and all Facebook accounts. Her grave narcissism is really too much for me to handle right now. I can't imagine the horrible rumors she is spreading now because she can't torture me first hand.


Friday, November 15

Brazil

When bureaucracy is used as..

You remember when you were a kid and got caught up in a bullying gang who tossed the boll over your head and never to you? It's the same thing but with titles and hierarchies in society.  Or when your call is transferred to person to person and finally they hang up on you? Tiring you out until you give up because you were never welcome to begin with. You're not one of them. You don't belong there. Unfortunately I will never give up. I just can't. Don't know how. 

Wednesday, October 30

Jaded

After so many year of experiencing the same behavior you become jaded. Now when I notice someone taking an interest in me, becoming infatuated even, I just wait. I wait for them to Google me and dump my ass. Thinking, dude, seriously, check up on who you are flirting with before falling in love. I'm not going to explain myself or even apologize for my past, or more accurately how media and obsessive stalkers has portrayed my past and my character. If you can't see through that scam then you are nothing for me anyway. I demand smarter partners. 

Sunday, October 27

And always a new artwork



Now this Reincarnational is available on Redbubble on 66 different items, like bags, socks, blankets, dresses, leggings, t-shirts and whatnot. 



Friday, October 25

Always a new story (warning; philosophy)

I started writing a story when I was out in the cabin last week, about the villagers and the mysterious ice-cream truck. Everything sounded very familiar though, like a repetition of a story told a thousand times. I started wondering what this life was really about. Is it a predetermined manufactured story/life experience that we are simply partakers in? My grandmother, father and also my uncle often told me stories about the future. Stories that I found irrational and illogical at the time, they made no sense, until now. Which is why I start to question the nature of reality. If they could with such accuracy predict the future, then where is free will and how is the nature of the reality we experience in this life constructed? Maybe they knew me so well that they could predict my choices and therefore also my future?  We often try to explain and give meaning to our life experiences with reasoning such as that everything happens for a reason. But, if life is designed and predetermined, a manufactured story we just experience, then the meanings we give to events are also predetermined and not really ours at all. It's of course a distancing worldview to have, to see oneself as an audience in the story of our lives. It's in the details. My grandmother said. Don't feel bad because grass will grow on the rug. The rug was nice, but it looks funny when the grass has grown through it. You thought it would be safe on the lawnmower, but they threw it on the grass. My dad said:
- If there's a burglary you would go and see to it right away, right? You won't let months pass? 
-Of course, why would I do that?
- Maybe you were afraid and thought that it was uncanny? 
Said my uncle. My grandmother:
- They are just rugs, nice rugs though, but still, you will get new ones. Don't bring it inside anymore when the grass has grown on it. 
You see , I had left the rugs from the attic outside, draped over the lawnmower and over the sorted garbage that was going to the recycling station because I planned to be back soon and though the rain would clean them nicely until then. Then the burglary happened and just as they suspected, it felt uncanny to go down there and sort things out right away. I didn't know what to expect and had nobody to accompany me. The rug that was draped over the lawnmower was thrown on the ground and grass has started to grow through it. And it looked funny, just like my grandmother said, with the green grass growing through the orange rug. They knew this would happen and who the burglars were. Now I know too, and shame on them. They never went there and helped him clean up the entire house several times. It took me and my grandmother all our vacation time there to clean up, every year. We took short breaks sitting in the sun or going to car-bingo, but the cleaning was constant. I also painted the entire kitchen , hallway and bathroom. They burglars though they had the right to steal, that I didn't deserve to inherit, because I decided to spend Christmas with my son instead of with my uncle after I had been in South Africa. I told my uncle in the letters I sent that I promised to visit him for Christmas, but I could not. I did however not expect him to die soon after. However I got to see him still alive in the hospital before he passed away. The last time we spoke was on the phone on Christmas eve. He was very upset with my mother. He said she was just shit and he rarely every said anything bad about anyone, so I was quite shocked by this. We did however wish each other a merry Christmas and happy new year. When I visited him in the hospital he never regained consciousness enough to speak.  I hope they will let the cabin be now. Nothing gives them the right to steal what is not theirs. Nothing gives them the right to trespass and vandalize. Considering the accurate predictions made by my grandmother, father and uncle it will be interesting to watch the rest of the story play out its course. 

Wednesday, October 2

Alien evaluation of humanity

If you were an alien sent to live a life on Earth to evaluate whether humanity deserves rescue or not, what would your evaluation be? What parameters would you use in your evaluation? I would consider level of empathy towards other lifeforms as most important. But perhaps you are searching to preserve a ruthless, evil, sinister and corrupt race, one that would sell their children for a pack of cigarettes? However, if you have come on a possible rescue mission to evaluate if humanity displays any qualities that would be beneficial for preservation of life in general with qualities like empathy,  intelligence and the ability of holistic awareness, a race that values life as such , then would you say you have found that here on Earth? I have found that among smaller groups of people, rare individuals representing a very small percentage of humanity. With the risk of sounding Shopenhaueresque I don't think humanity deserves rescue, however the climate striking youth may change my mind. The way we treat animals, nature, children and ultimately each other is in many ways horrific and despicable. Based on that , I would not care to save humanity from its own destruction. Humanity is based upon greed as the primary driving force. Humans want to win. They want to be best and beat the rest. The majority of humans are self sufficient narcissistic assholes. What use do the universe have for them?  If they would come in contact with other/alien civilizations they would not adapt, they would try to conquer, exploit and destroy, as they have done throughout history so far. Humanity has a long way to evolve before they can be considered worthy of preservation. The millions of other lifeforms on the planet Earth must however be rescued and preserved, as they represent a miraculous plethora of life living in harmonious symbiosis by themselves. Humans have only ruined the planet and disrupted and destroyed that natural harmony between all other lifeforms. From an life preservation perspective, valuing all lifeforms as equal, the millions of non-human lifeforms on Earth outweighs humanity. From a life preserving democratic perspective the logical solution would be to remove humanity from the planet. Perhaps leave a few selected groups who have displayed qualities that are harmonious with the millions of other species. Just as sectarian communities need to be disrupted and divided, so does humanity. If we consider humanity a species to preserve, they should because of their destructive collective nature be divided and placed on different planets with different types of civilizations that are living in harmony with their natural environment, where the humans are vastly outnumbered by the indigenous populations and kept under strict surveillance until their destructive nature has been eradicated.  Don't you think?